Holiday Hot Take: “SHOULD”

  “Should” comes up a lot during the holiday season. It affects us all differently but one thing is universal: it's a real fly in the old ego ointment during an already stressful part of the year.

So what can you do about it? Be mindful of your language with yourself.

Look, we all have an inner monologue. It doesn't make you crazy. We all talk ourselves through every part of our day, and our dreams. That means we're always giving ourselves the gift of communicating with ourselves. That gift is the chance to hear how we’re treating ourselves at any given moment.

“Okay, I’ll cut to the chase here: what an exhausting amount of pressure to put on yourself.”

When you notice the “shoulds” you’re imposing upon yourself, zoom out for a moment and ask yourself:

"is kindness there; is patience there; Is empathy there?”

In other words, how are you really treating yourself when one part of you is telling the in-the-moment and present version of yourself that s/he “should” do all these things bearing down upon you?

And if the answer is no, don't beat yourself up.

The awareness isn’t a reason to start another cycle of "shoulds" like, "Oh, I should be better to myself. I should be kinder to myself."

Just simply start by noticing. And if you have an opportunity to take a breath, to utter a mantra, to write a note down for yourself about the noticing, just start there.

It’s not that you should start there, but that you are simply welcome to if you’d like to.

Know and go.